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Part I
Part II
Part III
“Schizophrenia For A Day” – Part IV
It was funny how, as one progressed higher, the more reality came into focus.
The city sprawled like a tapestry of blinking lights, great sparkling obelisks, and ants—so many ants. Darla wondered if any of those ants would notice her, falling to her death.
“Are you sure this is right?” she said aloud, spitting it out before her hair could whip into her mouth.
“It’s the only way that makes sense,” her grandmother’s voice warbled, echoing off the walls of Darla’s skull.
Only way? Couldn’t there be a way to evict her grandmother’s soul besides this; like, perhaps, something not involving the tops of buildings and instead, perhaps, involving kittens? Kittens were good. Falling off buildings was bad for one’s health.
“You’re sure, sure?” Darla knew she was postponing the inevitable, and was likely frustrating her grandmother too, but she didn’t really care. This was her life and she didn’t entirely trust the theory her grandmother had stated earlier.
She heard a sigh, then, “Almost positive. No, positive, one-hundred percent. This will work. I told you, I saw what happened with Edward during that flashback—his spirit started to leave him, but then came back. If all goes right, I’ll be the spirit leaving your body and you’ll come back to life, unscathed.”
Darla put one foot up on the edge of the building, then her gut clenched and she put it back down. “That’s assuming only one,” she paused, then coughed out the word as though it were foreign, “spirit can leave a body at a time.”
Silence. Darla shivered and rubbed her bare arms. She looked up at the black sky, wondering if she would be lost in the expanse of nothing in a few minutes. Finally, her grandmother spoke, “Do you want to live with me inside of you forever? Watching everything you watch, doing everything you do?”
Inappropriate thoughts filled Darla’s mind and she involuntarily wrinkled her nose. “No.”
“Then you’re going to have to trust me.”
Darla bit back a groan, looked over her shoulder at the edge and the twinkling city lights.
“Look, Darla, sweetheart, I know we weren’t the closest grandmother and granddaughter; but we’re family, and for some reason, we were forced into this. It must mean something, and I think that something is that you were the only person strong enough to do this, and maybe it’s something you needed to grow as a human.”
“So I needed to die? That’s harsh, grandma.”
“No—I mean—it must be to teach you something. Something important. I’m the one who needs to die. Not you—I just. . . this is going poorly.”
Darla would have laughed had her life not been on the line. “It’s, it’s fine. I understand. Sort of.”
Again, both of them went silent. Darla sat on the edge, and with her eyes closed, swung her legs over. The cement felt cold and brittle underneath her hands, and she hoped she didn’t lose her grip and fall before she was ready. Her arms shook from the cold and the fear. The rest of her body had gone numb. With a deep breath, Darla opened one eye—dizziness made her lean forward but she didn’t slip.
Straight down, a few lonely ants wandered briskly up and down the street. Those ants would be the ones to notice her. The rest of the ants would live in blissful ignorance. So few out of so many. Darla pushed the thought away and brought her gaze upwards a bit—where was her favorite restaurant from here? She wondered if Jeremy was already waiting for her there. They had been planning to go there for at least a month now; he was probably wondering what was taking her so long to arrive. She wished she were there, sipping a glass of wine and relishing the quiet, peaceful atmosphere and laughing at Jeremy’s ridiculous puns. Anywhere would be better than the top of this building, the chilly wind blowing every bit of warmth and life from her.
Darla took a giant breath. She loosened the fingers on her right hand one at a time, then placed her hand in her lap. Now tethered at half-force, she felt as though she were tilting on the edge of death. Darla resisted the impulse to throw herself backwards, to safety, and slowly released the tension in her left hand. The only thing holding her in place now was kinetic friction and gravity. Her heartbeat seemed louder all of a sudden, like it wanted to remind her it was strong, but not quite this strong.
Grandma.
The reply came instantly. “Yes, granddaughter?”
I love you.
“I love you too, sweetheart.”
Darla pushed herself off.
***
The fall was. . . thrilling. Like nothing Darla had ever experienced. Even the world’s largest rollercoaster couldn’t come close to the exhilaration and all-consuming fear of free-falling. The shining obelisks melded into cohesive streaks of light—a man made lightning storm—and the ants milling on the ground lagged into slow-motion.
Darla would have enjoyed it, had she not been so terrified. She screamed and some of the ants paused, looked up at the blob of shrieking darkness hurtling towards them. She imagined they screamed too. Then she hit the sidewalk.
Again, it was unlike anything she had ever imagined.
Unconsciousness didn’t come immediately. Pain swelled and blossomed from every facet of her body until Darla wished she had saved her scream for the bottom. Instead she moaned and lay, broken in dozens of places, wishing for death. She was vaguely aware of people running towards her, but the pain was too great to see them and soon waxed until she couldn’t hear them, either. Finally, the agony started to weaken and a queer feeling, like water flowing out of a plastic sack, overcame her. Darla swore she heard someone whisper a goodbye, then she slipped into unconsciousness.
***
Coming to was like swimming through molasses. Slow, sweet, and unrealistic.
Darla opened her eyes to a dimly lit room. A smell of flowers and antiseptic immediately turned her stomach and she resisted the urge to vomit. She leaned forward then gasped in pain, fell back to the hospital cushions behind her. Suddenly a hairy monster and white-clad angel with glowing eyes were in front of her. Darla blinked once, hard, and recognized Jeremy, his face unshaven and eyes red from exhaustion, and a woman wearing glasses whose overcoat read “Dr. Louise McKinney.”
They seemed to be
speaking. Slowly, Darla regained her sense of hearing, too, and
understood them.
“—were you thinking? You crazy idiot! I
waited all night for you to show up and then I get a call from
somebody saying you’ve jumped off a building? Why on earth would you
do something like that? You’re not suicidal, are you? Your husband
should know something like that, shouldn’t he?”
“Mr. Meirs, with all likelihood suicidality is the problem, but please give Mrs. Meirs some space. She’ll be able to answer your questions in due time.” The doctor sounded so calm and professional, Jeremy managed to hold his questions—for the time being.
A light suddenly blinded Darla’s right eye. Then she blinked and Dr. McKinney peered at her. “Can you hear me, Darla?”
With effort, Darla nodded. She heard Jeremy sigh in relief. He pushed his way into Darla’s field of view. He started to put a hand on her cheek, then winced and thought better of it. “Darla, talk to me, please. Tell me what happened. Did someone push you?”
Darla thought for a moment; her brain felt muddled and. . . strangely empty. Like something was missing. Could it . . . ?
Grandma? She thought, tentatively.
No answer. A mixture of consolation and grief churned in her stomach. So she was gone, then. Permanently. Suddenly Darla found herself wishing she had spent more time with her. Now Darla would truly never see her again. Her emotions plummeted.
“You . . .” her voice came out pockmarked with gravel. She inhaled and cleared her throat, then said, in a whisper, “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
Their expressions were worth their weight in gold. Darla smirked, and realized she still had people who loved her, and whom she loved. She sighed and closed her eyes. Everything would be alright.
[The End]